It’s interesting. Since I launched the site and pulled the curtain back on Open Source Spirituality, there’s been one response that I’ve received more than any other.
From moms to metalheads to former-Mormons. The people are very different, but the message is always the same:
Thank you for putting yourself out there. And for showing that it’s okay to be me.
The funny thing is, the reaction usually comes before they’ve even had a chance to dig into the ideas.
More often than not, it starts with the silly Fuck Spiritual. Be You. picture in the sidebar.
So why is that so shocking?
Why should that, of all things, make any difference to anyone?
Because we’re all afraid to reveal who we really are.
And because “spiritual” people don’t say fuck.
We’ve been handed this idea of what it means to be spiritual… Peaceful. Transcendent. Free from emotion. Free from ego personality.
It’s easy to be “spiritual.” It’s easy to be pleasant and peaceful and unaffected.
It’s easy to pretend.
It’s easy because it’s safe; and it’s fake; and it comes with a roadmap.
All we have to do is follow the stereotype and project the right image. (When in doubt, just smile placidly and say Namaste.)
Being authentic is scary.
We all want, more than anything, to be ourselves. To express ourselves. To be seen and accepted. And appreciated for what we have to offer.
But we’re afraid that if we do express ourselves—if we reveal who we really are—the people in our lives will reject us and abandon us.
They won’t want to see. They won’t accept.
And the shitty thing is…
We’re right.
Not everyone of course. But some.
And sometimes it’s the people who really matter.
It could be your parents, or your best friend, or your lover.
No matter how hard you try, some people will reject you.
And the more you are who you are, the more rejection you’re going to face.
Because the most beautiful thing about you—the thing most likely to offend others—is YOU.
Scary? Yes. But here’s the good part.
Having a personality—being an actual person—lets people form an opinion.
Sometimes that means you get rejected. But sometimes it means you get to connect and engage at a much deeper level.
But until you put yourself out there, you’re just stuck in the middle. You don’t risk the rejection. But you never make the connection either.
Which brings us back to the picture in the sidebar…
I don’t exactly fit the “spiritual” stereotype. And when I was just getting started, I wasn’t sure what to do about that.
I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out how to not offend the old spiritual-but-not-religious crowd.
I was sure my ideas would help them. But I was also sure that my personality would rub them the wrong way. And so I kept trying to figure out how to take me out of the equation.
It was difficult, and depressing. And it kept me stuck for quite a while.
The turning point came when I attended a New Age expo in Nashville a few years ago.
I remember walking around this giant room, looking for anything different or interesting. I found costumed gurus and costumed psychics and crystal peddlers and approximately 270,000 certified Reiki masters…
And I thought, these are not the people I want to spend the rest of my life hanging out with!
Followed quickly by, what the hell am I going to do??
I already knew that this was my life’s path. I knew that my unusual insights into consciousness and the contemplative arts were the most meaningful gift I had to give.
But “Open Source Spirituality” didn’t exist yet… It was still in pieces. And it didn’t come together until I realized that I could share that gift with people who I wouldn’t need to hide from.
So I decided to let people see me.
Initially it was just my own act of courage. An effort to express who I really am, and hopefully build a life engaging with people who I could actually connect with.
But the more I revealed, the more I realized that authenticity was the point.
Not “spiritual.” Not “evolved.” Not “enlightened.”
Authentic.
Whatever that means… However that changes as you grow… Just be you.
For me, that means goofy pictures that express my personality, and a tagline that lets people form an opinion.
For you, it will be something else.
And the “spiritual” crowd? So far they’re predictably offended. They hide their shock, politely dismiss themselves, and go back to Namaste’ing with their friends.
And that’s probably for the best.
There’s a big difference between being spiritual, and being “spiritual.” And I’m definitely not the latter.
The question is: why are YOU here?
What is it that you’re looking for?
If you want to let go of your negative emotions… If you want life to be safe and simple… If you want to make the people you love, love you back…
Then you’re in the wrong place.
Spirituality isn’t safe.
It isn’t easy. It isn’t smooth. And it isn’t going to make people love you.
But it will change you.
You’ll wake up. You’ll break down. You’ll weep for beauty and connection. You’ll laugh and love and fight and fuck. And fall ass-backwards into mind-bending experiences that no one will understand…
But you won’t be safe.
You won’t avoid the things you don’t want to feel.
And if you use it as a path to authenticity, you’ll face an awful lot of rejection.
Because that’s the price of being YOU.
It’s the part that none of us signs up for—but all of us get anyway.
Not the most enticing pitch, is it?
Call it truth in advertising.
And if you still think that spiritual people don’t say fuck… If you still think it’s all about an even hand and a safe and steady passage… No worries. Keep up the search. And thanks for stopping by.
For the rest of you…
YOU, with the irreverent spirit…
YOU, with the inner-grin and the hopeful heart…
YOU, with everything to gain; and everything to lose…
We’ve been waiting for you.
If you liked this post, please consider sharing, along with a brief comment of what you thought… It doesn’t sound like much. But these small gestures make a tremendous impact on building our community, and helping other wayward rebels find a perspective that they can resonate with.
And if it spoke to you, why not Join the Tribe? It's free.. And this is just one tiny piece of more than two decades of impassioned work...... And YOU probably belong here with the rest of us!!
In any case, thanks so much for stopping by! – \m/ – Z
About Zach Herbert
I teach people to do cool things with their consciousness, and break their brains with beautiful ideas.
Professional heretic. Unlikely mystic. Host to rebels, misfits and independent thinkers.
Find out more here. And follow me on Facebook at:
Ralph says
Thanks for this message. It came at just the right time, and was something I think I really needed to hear.
Zach Herbert says
Absolutely. Glad I could help!
Cynthia Pulver says
People who use a lot of swear words tend to be more honest and trustworthy, human behavioral studies suggest.
Pamela says
And smarter, too!
pamella says
We are all made of cosmic lunar spiritual energy, get up and go, good or bad. I say f*** and f*** you when needed and necessary. It doesn’t bother me. The good news here, that we are all being lifted to a higher level of spirituality, all consciousness across the planet will experience a new uplift in thinking. ♡ This Cosmic lunar spiritual energy is what we have been waiting for♡ Wonderful post
Renee Tempest says
Hi, I couldn’t Agree More..
You’ve said exactly how much I want to say. Thank you so Much..
F*ing Fabulous. ????
Elizabeth says
Wonderfully Authentic!!!!!!! So glad I came across you.
Tea Bird says
Hey Zach, are you still around? Most of the comments are from 2015…evidently your still being circulated….good stuff I signed up to get emails. I got away from Spiritual nonsensical crap years ago and although I feel close to the universe, it’s mainly in the stardust I’m made of. Cursing is not who I am it’s what I do, it’s how I communicate my feelings good or bad…indifferent. I like authentic people who enjoy authentic people. Thank you for being you, allowing others to be themselves. Good to know you, and I hope to know you for a long time. By the way, I’m updating my website so it’s not up right now check it in a week or so.
Kerry-Marie Callander says
I love this and it is true and I mentioned this in my book “Breaking Free”. I works as a psychic medium and found it really hard to just be me because I felt there was pressure on me to be this perfect person in the spiritual arena, I could not be and so I have decided now to be he authentic me. It is much better……..and this is where I found my piece. Love your article and truth. Blessing KM
Bell says
Made me laugh and cry and crow with foul language….
Been saying this for long time now glad to see it from other than my groups that say fuck often and loudly and with manical glee at times. That peaceful namaste is good no doubt but being real and in myself full time is the best way I know to be. And tons of people have fallen to the wayside just as you described. Thanks for this!
Steven C Pierce says
I enjoyed reading this,and thank you. I believe that forgiveness is the key point. We are all one regardless of what our ego’s try to tell us.
Debra Suhr says
Thanks Zach. You have said much and as down to earth as it gets. I feel I’m me, that all I’ll ever be . If someone doesn’t like me, I don’t shed tears, I say thank you, you’re not worthy enough for me to give a shit. I love me and I’m happy and if people don’t like it or don’t believe me, they can go fuck themselves. No one’s raining on my perade. I might be the only one in it but that’s fine with me. I’m happy I’m giving I care and I love because I can if I choose. But when the sun goes down and I’m still here still the same always will be me.
Abigail says
Thank you!!! It’s exactly how I feel and what I write about also 🙂
I feel the New Age scene has bastardized spirituality as it has yoga, tantra, meditation – stolen the soul and used practices to spiritual bypass instead of being authentic, heart based and true to yourself!!
I’m all about blasting open those myths, avoidances of self and being the true you with shadow, faults and rebellion full throttle… Love this post!!!
I am a mystic but a no bs – let’s get real one!!!
Being real is where it’s at… Xxx
Kat says
Same for me! Thanks Zack!
amy says
haha, namaste brother, namaste… what the heck does that mean again? the light in me sees the light in you, yes 🙂 anyhew, I can relate, I was raised in a bar and don’t feel real unless i’m verbing, nouning, adverbing, punctuating etc. etc. with old faithful-fuckety fuck fuck 🙂 my poor toddler and ten yr old are going to be great cussers some day… my toddler started prek recently just in time for uttering the sweaty southern colorado fly season’s “fucking flies” … woops
in 2014 I almost surrendered to depression… finding and trusting and loving me, lil ol me is what saved me! I had/have a great buddhist shrink and a shamanic journey group that helped me see… what my 72yr old journey group leader often professes(while dropping the very occasional f-bomb) is that the ego and higher self(spirit,soul, etc.) are a team and work great together in alliance… instead of all this ego bad stuff…we wouldn’t have the ability to embrace and open up to spirit if not for ego. we are light given the gift to experience physical realm.
so thanks for sharing you 🙂 cussing or not, we are one in the light, living in ego with all the ups/ downs and inside outs along the way 🙂 AND IT IS A FUCKING KILLER RIDE!!!
Leila says
Yes!! People think the ego is all negative. There are primitive ego defenses like denial and advanced ego like showing gratitude.
jean b says
Love that : we are light given the gift/chance to experience the physical realm. Thanks
Tracy Dunbar says
Ha ha . . . thank you bro . . . you def in my tribe, getting a chuckle out of some of your posts and pics and feeling your authenticity. Fuckin Thank U ~
mani says
you sir are most definitely a beast of fine proportions ! spot on sentiment my dear chap! or as we say in australia …. FUCK YEAH!
Archbishop Kenneth McCune says
Zach, thanks for the insight! I am a Christian (Celtic) Archbishop, and one of the biggest problems I’ve seen with my sibling Churches is that they try too hard to “make” everybody follow THEIR method of Faith. The Creator did not make us with cookie cutters, so the way we MUST approach the Divine within is AS “MYSELF”. As a “Shepherd”, it is NOT my responsibility, nor my RIGHT, to lead “sheep”. My duty is to help each person who comes to me for “direction” how to seek his or her own personal “path”. I feel the sincerity and the truth of what you say. Personally, I don’t say “fuck” too much, but that’s the way I was reared. I don’t appreciate when that’s every other word in a person’s vocabulary, but sometimes it makes a point! However you view the Creator, may your life path be just “challenging” enough to keep you breathing and trying! And FUCK YEAH! BE YOU, AND BE TRUE! Shakespeare once had a character say it well: “Above all, this: to thine own self be true!”
PeonyBlue says
Archbishop, thank you from someone struggling.
Evon says
I love this ..Profanity, could
be*, a sign of sanity …
Love, and hugs,
Evon ????????
Christa says
Or a sign of intelligence!
Catherine says
To Zach – refreshing and brave. You have touched upon many thoughts that have been floating around in my own spiritually confused mind.
Archbishop Kenneth- thank you … That would make a great sermon. Shakesphere really desrves much more credit…
In Spirit
C. Hanson
Michelle says
Could you please plan an overthrow and reorganization of organized religion?? I try to keep my requests simple. Thank you in advance. 🙂
Shannyn says
I love this. It hit the nail on the head for me. I’ve often had people look aghast at me and shake their head, how could I possibly be a spiritual person with my potty mouth. Lol. I don’t conform, I’m irreverent and I won’t change my language but it doesn’t mean I’m not spiritual, that I don’t have a faith and an inner landscape.
Kristen says
I have to admit the title caught my eye and I’m glad it did. This is great, I feel exactly the same way and it is refreshing to read. I say Namaste and I say fuck. The real beauty in life is in the messy realness of diving into ourselves. Enjoy all of the ups and downs because it’s all in the journey not the destination and enjoy all of the scars along the way!
Kimmy says
I was really down in the dumps tonight until o found this…. Purely by accident by the way, and it was over my Daughter so your article made me laugh. I thought about what she told me when she turned 18, she could finally cus. She had been waiting to say muthafucka since she was 5 when she heard a friend of her Dads say it. I about fell over laughing.
Ben Yisrael says
I am thankful for this article because I didnt know that a thought like this existed. It makes me laugh how some could make themselves the say all for what spirituality is and yet get thier ways from another’s culture. Those who do that show some of the things that they claim to keep themselves away from and arrogance and ego to name a few. I remember I approached my father in my youth with a thought like that and he was like, “Fuck that shit” and he is a spiritual leader for me and the fam. I had my own experience with language and the person didnt understand me until I started cussing. If those who claim to be spiritual they should understand that language is a tool to make ones thought intelligible to others and cussing is only good or bad depending on how you use it. People know what I mean when I say, “This shit is so fucking good!” I think that sounds pretty positive 😀 anyway I have found more spiritual people inn my eye be more peaceful when they cuss as opposed to those who put on a facade when they don’t …but this is just what i have observed and concluded at this point and to those who may not like it as Ceelo Green said, “Fuck you and fuck her too” thank you for the article it is fucking awesome 😀
laura says
Thank you so much. This is actually something that has crossed my mind many times. I’m the girl that loves to laugh, flirt, swear, say perverted things, connect with nature yet go to parties. I struggled with why can’t I think,feel,act a certain way. I’ve finally realized that its because its not me. I am who I am and I’m still in the learning process of who that woman really is.
Asma S says
Thank you for covering the most important aspect of spirituality that people do not discuss… the spiritual path is not easy, it is challenging, requiring lots of courage and persistence; and while on the path, there are many people you lose, and some worthy ones you gain.
Phoenix says
This speaks such a painfully truth in my life right now. Where I’ve found who I am, but the exposure of the truth would either mean total rejection, or constant tears and sorrow for the path I’ve fallen down. When in reality I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and love life and myself and have found deep empathy for those around me. For me every day where my secrets are safe, I’m thankful, because it’s only a matter of time until I say goodbye to people that I honestly love, but that only love me with conditions. Yet this is the path I’ve chosen to walk, so I will blow them a kiss and leave a door open for love, but won’t allow my happiness to become drained to feed into someone who won’t be happy anyways. Do no harm take no shit, and love to the fullest of my ability.
Jeannette Cr. Mother Bearwoman says
I prefer people that simply are without filters. I am a strong proponent of truth being found more often in folks that curse and like me use the word “Fuck” as if it were an “amen” to my words. Fuck Yeah!
Paula says
This was an interesting read . I’ve always said if you can’t be honest with yourself then you can’t be honest with anyone. So spirituality is to find your road to enlightenment. Not to become a yes man or woman. In so saying the F* is one of the most honest words you will find because it’s generally people’s first reaction that is their honesty. Thanks .
Edith says
More like me!!! This is exactly what I feel!! For years I struggled with this. When I was little I wanted to die my hair blue or pink, my mother said that “people” would think I was crazy. I developed the Fuck You attitude but hid my authentic self inside. Finically at 54 , I died my hair pink. You know what, it was actually far more empowering and freeing then I had ever thought. The best part was I was living authentically. Thank you for taking time to write this.
Peter says
While I agree with most of your opinion, one “fact” is completely false: who ever led anyone to believe that spirituality meant being emotionless? Please tell us how you came to this baseless conclusion.
The dogma that exists in regards to “spirituality” is about love, being empathetic and understanding we are all connected, regardless of species.
Last I checked, love is an emotion. Please ponder this. Thanks.
Cindy Travis says
Something to consider, Peter. There may be a distinction between the experience of “emotions” and the experience of “feelings”. From my, albeit limited understanding love is neither a feeling nor an emotion. We have collapsed these two experiences and words into the same meaning; emotions arise from our human nervous system and feelings reside in and flow in and out of our human heart intelligence.
Katerina says
Yes, I felt the same way here. Some people truly want to be peaceful, serene, loving and accepting. Spirituality must be genuine in order to create progress. I love the word spiritual because it is relatively unsoiled by negative connotations or too many stereotypes, except in cases such as this. Must you really insult others to get your point across?
Shahna says
I think you have hit the nail on the head. There are too many fake, I just want to belong people in this world. If you can’t be you then wtf is the point? Rejection sucks and accepting rejection sucks even more. But those little bits of you that die off are allowing the real you to shine through. Shed your chrysalis and fly…..what have you got to lose?
Wendy Alexander says
Thank you your amazing I look forward to following you and learning this information was shared by my daughter I’m so grateful for her beautiful soul.
Wendy
Jackie says
I REALLY like this. I don’t ascribe to any religion per se. I’m currently reading up on Wicca cause it interests me and fits a few of my current beliefs. And if I get nothing else from it, I can add it in my stories. I guess my “religion” is writing. Poetry, songs, stories and stream of consciousness writing. When I’m traumatized, I’m worse… can’t FUCKING SHUT UP if my LIFE depended on it. I’m just ME and always have been. Which is why SO MANY seem to think I’m just fucking crazy. I’m expressive and outgoing yet a total weird introvert too. I up and re start my life over and over when I must. I follow my heart at every turn and believe that whoever decided to make “dealing with drama” a thing to say to put others down… is a damn WUSS! It’s only “drama” when it’s not about you, so you don’t care right. Well, I do! I care about HOW PEOPLE FEEL and how I FEEL. If it weren’t for that we’d be robots. To those who just want quiet, fake, pretend lives… I say, wake up, have some coffee, maybe a drink or two and MAKE LOVE… or just grab someone beautiful and FUCK until you feel alive again…. OK… Rant over.
And YES I LOVE THIS ARTICLE!!!
Jackie
Christopher CW Berry says
Thanks for telling the unvarnished truth! You rock; but you already knew that…
Oleg says
Yep…that totally resonates. I have always considered myself spiritual, but feel similarly disgusted/disenchanted by the robed fakers. Actually my last relationship ended in part because she was all about trying to grow into that crowd, and I wasn’t on board. I tried lightly to explain to her that spirituality was enigmatically a highly personal matter, and no silly rule books, yogis, nor anyone claiming to communicate with extraterrestrials, Demi-gods, stars, or Archangels, had any answers that were nearly as true as listening to and flowing with the balance of your instincts and rationality. We are the spirits that hold our own answers, and if we listen always know deep inside what’s right or best.
I personally didn’t NEED to hear what you had to say in this article- I already knew. Nice to have the affirmation; right fucking on!
However a word of caution: be wary of accepting sheep into your flock, lest it become just another flavor of “spirituality.” Most if not all original teachers started out with great ideas that have been grossly re-contextualized, most often to benefit a power structure that has formed around yet largely lost sight of the original teachings. I’m sure you are well aware of the phenomenon, hopefully you have a way around it!
Tina says
I laughed and cried at the same time, while reading this! Thank you!! <3 <3<3
Alice Ann Hengesbach says
Thank you … I am proud to be brave to be me. Your words hit my nail on the head ‘cuz the rejection hurts and at the same time I know that the acceptance I receive is real!
Maya says
Love your humor! Especially the over abundance of Reiki masters at that conference. Made me laugh out loud.
Sarah says
Thank you for sharing! I agree with you 100%. I used to think I had to walk around and never allow anger into my vibration and then one day I was just done. I got angry, I spoke the truth, I allowed myself to feel the true human emotions. I am not ducking fantastic and after I allow the anger I am at peace. I don’t hold a grudge, I no longer stew for weeks in meditation asking spirit to release me from the lesson. 🙂
Andrea says
Love it! When I tell people we are ‘ego’ you can’t get rid of it… they look at me like I have three heads. Ego is a part of us so we understand more about our true authentic self. We can’t remove it and magically be ascended to a higher spiritual being… that sounds like rules and religion, a dogma attempting to make us different than who we really are. But let’s all protect ourselves from the energy and stay in our own white bubble without ego where it is safe (Insert sarcasm). Who are you protecting yourself from? Your own ego, personality and true authentic you! It’s all about understanding who you are, allowing yourself to feel the true emotion and not being afraid to give a ‘fuck’. Thank you for saying it authentically out loud.
Camilo says
This was a great read. I’ve had a very similar process of self affirmation about the videos I want to make on the Internet as a filmmaker. I used to make vlogs and creative stuff all the time but ever since graduating film school I’ve been fighting with myself about how to present myself. (Since they beat the rules into your head) At the end of the day, I just wanna be me and share the messages of Love, evolution and awareness but the fear of being outcasted definitely makes itself very prevalent. It’s still something I’m overcoming but this read definitely helped a lot. So thank you. As a first time reader, I’m definitely joining the tribe.
Thank you so much!
Nick Hendry says
Great message! Was always tired feeling I had to be like everyone once again. That’s why I left organized religion. I started being myself, walking the spiritual path, but being me. This is what my clients I read for come to expect and also respect. I keep it real and speak my truth and not afraid to say things that need to be heard and they get a laugh and relax when I ell them not to give a fuck what others say or stop putting up with the shit others are sending their. Thanks for the awesome confirmation and post!
Diane Goble says
A couple of years ago, I was in a meeting with two other women discussing the formation of a seniors’ activity program at our parks & rec. One woman, Sue, I knew and was my age (early 70s); Kelly (early 30s), the adult program director, was new to us. Fuck is my all time favorite word, it has so many different uses (noun, verb, adjective, exclamation, subject, object, etc.), it’s even a complete sentence… and the older I get, the less I filter my feelings. But every time I used the word, Kelly vigorously mentioned I dropped an F-bomb then another F-bomb. At one point, she said I’d dropped 5 F-bombs. She was even keeping track. Sue finally used the word and I thought Kelly would come unglued. I just find it all humorous. We’re all somewhere on our path.
Jamal Sawab says
I see you. I dig your vibe. And I see your truth. It is only through our authenticity that we can follow the path to enlightenment while weathering the storms of chaos. The trouble I’ve found with many spiritual folks is that they either become too passive or completely fall apart when the dark parts of our reality are too intense to diffuse with a “Namaste” prayer. I’ve always considered mine a spiritual warrior’s path- balancing the holy and the mundane while battling the forces of chaos that affect us both externally and internally. It is difficult and overwhelming at times, as Truth is supposed to be. I’m intrigued and always looking for new allies. Strength and Power to you…