Facebook Twitter RSS Feed

  • Blog
    • Most Popular Posts
  • About
    • Open Source Spirituality
    • Zach Herbert
  • Contact
    • Send a Message
    • One-on-One Coaching
  • Store
    • Coming Soon…
  • FAQ
  • Members
    • Account
    • Login / Logout

Zach Herbert

  • Explore
    • Your Consciousness
    • A Deeper Perspective
  • Express
    • Your Deeper Self
    • Who You Really Are
  • Engage
    • In Deeper Relationships
    • An Authentic Community
You are here: Home > Engage > In Deeper Relationships > Happiness is Not the Goal of Life

Happiness is Not the Goal of Life

…at least, not if you want to be happy.

Author: Zach Herbert
Comment
7
Tweet

It’s funny, the places we find unexpected insights…

Not too long ago I got roped into one of those horrible, corporate-fake, business lunch meetings. The kind that’s like a cheesy motivational poster come to life.

Normally I avoid those things like my soul depended on it. But this one I couldn’t get out of.

I’ve mercifully forgotten most of what went on. But there was one part I’ll always remember…

At some point in the meeting, the conversation shifted to philosophy and spirituality. (I was actually hopeful for a moment.) And the man became very animated, and demanded to know my secret to staying happy all the time.

He clearly had his response rehearsed and ready to go. No doubt honed to perfection over years of captive, cocktail-party monologues.

But apparently he wasn’t expecting my response…

It’s not about being happy.

And suffering is underrated.

Modern culture is obsessed with easy answers and endless distractions—all in the pursuit of happiness.

But spirituality is about cultivating depth.

It’s about exploring distant horizons.

It’s trading distraction for direction.

It’s about nurturing the wild things that whisper and stir within you—and coaxing them to roar.

And none of that comes without suffering.

None of it comes without fear.

The horizon hides the unknown… and the unknown isn’t always happy.

Choosing a direction means forsaking one destination for another… and that means mourning the road not taken.

And the wild things within aren’t always cute and cuddly kittens…

But that’s just the nature of the quest.

That’s the cost of it all.

The reward is a life punctuated by profound joy, and meaning, and transformation.

And rapture.

And connection.

And happiness…

Of course, happiness.

If you’re lucky, you’ll be happy a lot. And for countless different reasons.

But happy is such a thin word… It pales behind the rest.

It’s a pleasant smile beside a passionate embrace.

It’s the meager price you pay for something much, much greater.

If you aren’t willing to leave happiness aside—if you’re never willing to descend into suffering—then you’ll never rise up to the things that matter most.

The horizon will never come.

The wild things will never roar.

You’ll never be fulfilled.

You’ll never be truly happy…

And that’s a sad, sad way to live.

So what’s my secret to staying happy all the time?

I’m sure I must have been silent for a moment. His perspective was one I’d honestly never considered—that the sole purpose of spirituality was to get and stay happy…

It was such a foreign concept…

And he seemed so proud of his planned reply, that I almost played along…

But then I remembered how much I fucking hate those ridiculous fake fucking meetings!

So I said something along the lines of what I wrote above…

On the upside, he was so stunned that he never did deliver his monologue. (I probably spoiled the setup.) And he never requested another meeting.

So I guess there are two morals to the story:

  1. Don’t waste your life pursuing happiness… at least, not if you want to be happy.

And,

  1. Never humor a puppet in a suit.

If you liked this post, please consider sharing, along with a brief comment of what you thought… It doesn’t sound like much. But these small gestures make a tremendous impact on building our community, and helping other wayward rebels find a perspective that they can resonate with.

And if it spoke to you, why not Join the Tribe? It's free.. And this is just one tiny piece of more than two decades of impassioned work...... And YOU probably belong here with the rest of us!!

In any case, thanks so much for stopping by! – \m/ – Z

About Zach Herbert

I teach people to do cool things with their consciousness, and break their brains with beautiful ideas.

Professional heretic. Unlikely mystic. Host to rebels, misfits and independent thinkers.

Find out more here. And follow me on Facebook at:

Share this:

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
Tags:Open Source Spirituality, Suffering
Comment
7
Tweet

Get Email Updates

Image by clix couture courtesy of 500px Creative Commons. Downloaded 6/17/15.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission which helps support this site. Regardless, I only recommend products or services that I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are trollish, spammish, offensive, off-topic, or just plain shitty and mean. You don't have to agree with me, but you do have to keep the conversation civil and productive. If in doubt, read My Comment Policy.

7 Comments

  1. Ryan Trimble says

    The meetings, the suits, the puppets—like nails on a chalkboard for me too.

    And I agree with your points about suffering. People think happiness can be pursued directly, so they chase it in false promises. In truth, happiness is a byproduct of work—but not the kind of work that’s aimed solely at making money.

    Thanks for telling it straight. Good, motivating words.

    Reply
  2. Kenton Parker says

    I was always raised to believe that “pain builds character,” and whole heartedly agree with the FACT that suffering is underrated. I have always learned the most from “hitting bottom,” whether it be spiritually, chemically, financially, or what have ye. Have gained quite a bit of guidance from your thoughts and open ended questions; while always knowing that the same was within me dying to get out. Know you are appreciated and keep em coming Zach!

    Reply
  3. Tammy White says

    I have always thought and believed that strength comes from adversity. This has been the case with me throughout my life. If I went through hard times I pulled through with prayer to God and came out stronger on the other side. I am a newbie to spirituality and meditation but I am always wondering if there is something more that I can do?

    Reply
    • Zach Herbert says

      As a rule: there is always something more that we can explore and do! 🙂

      Reply
  4. Holly Tieken says

    I think spirituality tends to swing towards extremes which are not healthy you either have the “positivity movement” where every negative emotion is shunned and to be human is a mistake, then there is the “suffering has a purpose” movement where all suffering has some sort of inherent value and we enshrine it as some sort of spiritual virtue.

    Reply
  5. Mysticblues says

    This is great. I was humoring the puppets in suits, but I finally had enough. I rocked the boat and the wild things began to roar. It was awesome!

    Reply
  6. Zoeherbalist says

    How can you know what happiness is if you haven’t experienced sadness. I think Kahil Gibram worded it beautifully in his piece about joy and sorrow:
    ‘Some of you say, “Joy is greater thar sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
    But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
    Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.’

    Reply

Leave A Reply Cancel reply

Join the Tribe

Because there IS a place where you belong

Join our unlikely tribe of rebels, misfits and independent thinkers. And get FREE access to the 7-part Crash Course in Open Source Spirituality.

Click Here for Access

What Others Are Saying

  • Spirituality suddenly got a much cooler theme song.

    Erika Napoletano Author, The Power of Unpopular

  • I can’t. stop. reading. this. blog.

    Jennifer

  • I laughed and cried at the same time, while reading this! Thank you!! <3 <3<3

    Tina

  • Ouch….and thanks!

    John

  • And on top of everything: I really like your hair!

    Ulrike

  • What an asshole.

    Anonymous

  • Fuck you. Being spiritual does not mean being all airy fairy, sweetness and light, and … Oh, that was your point. Never mind. Carry on.

    Chandra

  • Fuck me. THANK YOU. I am in tears …

    Amy Jo

  • You sir are most definitely a beast of fine proportions! Spot on sentiment my dear chap! or as we say in Australia… FUCK YEAH!

    Mani

  • Shit!! You got my inner, hidden weenie right in the feels! I’m Home!

    Yarum

  • Fucking brilliant! I’ve come out of my “who I thought everyone thought I was supposed to be shell.” Authenticity is where it’s at. Completely.

    Peggy

  • Thank f##k someone has finally had the strength to say what many of us have been itching to but never found quite the right words!

    Anita

Get Email Updates

Facebook Twitter RSS Feed

Back To Top

About Zach Herbert

I teach people to do cool things with their consciousness, and break their brains with beautiful ideas.

Professional heretic... Unlikely mystic...

Host to rebels, misfits and independent thinkers.

Read More

Zach

Search this site

Engage on Social

Facebook Twitter RSS Feed

Popular Posts

  • Spiritual People Don't Say Fuck
  • On consciousness, and being "spiritually evolved"
  • What Einstein can teach spirituality about metaphysics
  • The Shallow Side of Freedom
  • The Death of the Now
  • If so. Then so. Just so.
  • The Universe isn't made of "Energy"
  • Build a Better Ego
  • Alone, Together
  • How to Reduce Your Risk of Hippies

© 2015 - 2018   Zach Herbert / All Rights Reserved / The Motions of Consciousness® is a registered trademark.

My Privacy Policy / Contact Me

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.