It’s interesting. Since I launched the site and pulled the curtain back on Open Source Spirituality, there’s been one response that I’ve received more than any other.
From moms to metalheads to former-Mormons. The people are very different, but the message is always the same:
Thank you for putting yourself out there. And for showing that it’s okay to be me.
The funny thing is, the reaction usually comes before they’ve even had a chance to dig into the ideas.
More often than not, it starts with the silly Fuck Spiritual. Be You. picture in the sidebar.
So why is that so shocking?
Why should that, of all things, make any difference to anyone?
Because we’re all afraid to reveal who we really are.
And because “spiritual” people don’t say fuck.
We’ve been handed this idea of what it means to be spiritual… Peaceful. Transcendent. Free from emotion. Free from ego personality.
It’s easy to be “spiritual.” It’s easy to be pleasant and peaceful and unaffected.
It’s easy to pretend.
It’s easy because it’s safe; and it’s fake; and it comes with a roadmap.
All we have to do is follow the stereotype and project the right image. (When in doubt, just smile placidly and say Namaste.)
Being authentic is scary.
We all want, more than anything, to be ourselves. To express ourselves. To be seen and accepted. And appreciated for what we have to offer.
But we’re afraid that if we do express ourselves—if we reveal who we really are—the people in our lives will reject us and abandon us.
They won’t want to see. They won’t accept.
And the shitty thing is…
We’re right.
Not everyone of course. But some.
And sometimes it’s the people who really matter.
It could be your parents, or your best friend, or your lover.
No matter how hard you try, some people will reject you.
And the more you are who you are, the more rejection you’re going to face.
Because the most beautiful thing about you—the thing most likely to offend others—is YOU.
Scary? Yes. But here’s the good part.
Having a personality—being an actual person—lets people form an opinion.
Sometimes that means you get rejected. But sometimes it means you get to connect and engage at a much deeper level.
But until you put yourself out there, you’re just stuck in the middle. You don’t risk the rejection. But you never make the connection either.
Which brings us back to the picture in the sidebar…
I don’t exactly fit the “spiritual” stereotype. And when I was just getting started, I wasn’t sure what to do about that.
I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out how to not offend the old spiritual-but-not-religious crowd.
I was sure my ideas would help them. But I was also sure that my personality would rub them the wrong way. And so I kept trying to figure out how to take me out of the equation.
It was difficult, and depressing. And it kept me stuck for quite a while.
The turning point came when I attended a New Age expo in Nashville a few years ago.
I remember walking around this giant room, looking for anything different or interesting. I found costumed gurus and costumed psychics and crystal peddlers and approximately 270,000 certified Reiki masters…
And I thought, these are not the people I want to spend the rest of my life hanging out with!
Followed quickly by, what the hell am I going to do??
I already knew that this was my life’s path. I knew that my unusual insights into consciousness and the contemplative arts were the most meaningful gift I had to give.
But “Open Source Spirituality” didn’t exist yet… It was still in pieces. And it didn’t come together until I realized that I could share that gift with people who I wouldn’t need to hide from.
So I decided to let people see me.
Initially it was just my own act of courage. An effort to express who I really am, and hopefully build a life engaging with people who I could actually connect with.
But the more I revealed, the more I realized that authenticity was the point.
Not “spiritual.” Not “evolved.” Not “enlightened.”
Authentic.
Whatever that means… However that changes as you grow… Just be you.
For me, that means goofy pictures that express my personality, and a tagline that lets people form an opinion.
For you, it will be something else.
And the “spiritual” crowd? So far they’re predictably offended. They hide their shock, politely dismiss themselves, and go back to Namaste’ing with their friends.
And that’s probably for the best.
There’s a big difference between being spiritual, and being “spiritual.” And I’m definitely not the latter.
The question is: why are YOU here?
What is it that you’re looking for?
If you want to let go of your negative emotions… If you want life to be safe and simple… If you want to make the people you love, love you back…
Then you’re in the wrong place.
Spirituality isn’t safe.
It isn’t easy. It isn’t smooth. And it isn’t going to make people love you.
But it will change you.
You’ll wake up. You’ll break down. You’ll weep for beauty and connection. You’ll laugh and love and fight and fuck. And fall ass-backwards into mind-bending experiences that no one will understand…
But you won’t be safe.
You won’t avoid the things you don’t want to feel.
And if you use it as a path to authenticity, you’ll face an awful lot of rejection.
Because that’s the price of being YOU.
It’s the part that none of us signs up for—but all of us get anyway.
Not the most enticing pitch, is it?
Call it truth in advertising.
And if you still think that spiritual people don’t say fuck… If you still think it’s all about an even hand and a safe and steady passage… No worries. Keep up the search. And thanks for stopping by.
For the rest of you…
YOU, with the irreverent spirit…
YOU, with the inner-grin and the hopeful heart…
YOU, with everything to gain; and everything to lose…
We’ve been waiting for you.
If you liked this post, please consider sharing, along with a brief comment of what you thought… It doesn’t sound like much. But these small gestures make a tremendous impact on building our community, and helping other wayward rebels find a perspective that they can resonate with.
And if it spoke to you, why not Join the Tribe? It's free.. And this is just one tiny piece of more than two decades of impassioned work...... And YOU probably belong here with the rest of us!!
In any case, thanks so much for stopping by! – \m/ – Z
About Zach Herbert
I teach people to do cool things with their consciousness, and break their brains with beautiful ideas.
Professional heretic. Unlikely mystic. Host to rebels, misfits and independent thinkers.
Find out more here. And follow me on Facebook at:
Blessings Dear Zach & tribe!
We are aligning with truth and only those businesses based on integrity will prosper. I have found that some people traded one box (organized religion or family culture or workplace proper suiting) for another box…”spirituality” or some other larger box, but still a limiting boxed in existence.. They decided what God wants and proclaimed it in ceremonies and “proper” practices. NOW, I invite them to break out of all boxes and experience the beauty of being…themselves.
EVERYONE is spiritual… we are eternal, spiritual beings having a physical experience. What does that mean? We are all part of God, enjoying the earth as creative energies, doing whet we want to experience, regardless of the old order rules.
I have spent a great deal of time talking to spirit, angels and ascended master ( Buddha, Lady Nada, Master St. Germain, Jesus…) and none of them are offended by the words… be they fuck or asshole or shit or… you get the picture. They are not offended by any of our actions, although they clearly have expressed to us that war, disease and hunger are not cool. The ancient writing boil down to one instruction to ” LOVE ONE ANOTHER.”
When our actions, words, thoughts are based in love… we are golden to ourselves and to others.
I love you.
This is exactly what I needed! Thanks so much for your authenticity! From a woman who doesn’t “fit” the yogini world according to my size (I am a splendid Plus size) never married, single mom, with a now adult children. I love food, I love alcohol, I love sex, I love cussing and I love being real! I am also kind, caring, loving and generous. Being on the brink of my 40th birthday I absolutley love the journey I am on, look forward to what each day brings, and enjoy not giving a Fuck! of what others people’s ideas of me are!! Thanks for your openess!❤????
I’m in…to new adventures… and a place to connect with my tribe
Peace out
Barb
Zach Herbert, thank you. What you wrote is something I’ve been trying to give myself permission to “believe.” I know two things. I am spiritual, and I’m human. I’m believe in an intelligence that is bigger than me, and I’m going to make awful mistakes. I want to be at peace, and know my humanity is going to be petty, small and trollish at times – not at all peaceful. I want to make a positive difference in people’s lives and sometimes it’s because I’ve been my most authentic at the time. My boyfriend told me he doesn’t know any other woman who says fuck as often as I do. Well, I can be a thoughtful and reflective person, and if I say fuck it needed to be said. Thank you for being here, Zach. You are a gift to the planet.
I fucking LOve this lol xoxo authenticity is rare in this day but motherfuckers are waking up and realigning their souls with their conscious ♡
I absolutely loved reading this and it just hit home! I’m a Reiki practitioner and teacher (yes!) and horse rider and a whole bunch of stuff – most of it I’ve only sort of stumbled upon and grown into since about 10 years ago in my early 40’s. And I can associate fully with that feeling of walking into a place and space of “spiritual” people and wanting to get out of there as fast as I can.
And yes, the price of being authentically ME has been quite high – friends I had for years and family (siblings in particular) didn’t know what to do with ME, so they opted to rather stay away. But that’s okay, because they vacated space for other likeminded and like-beinged people.
One of my clients recently asked me what it means to be spiritual…. Not something with a clear and recipe-based answer. My answer was short: to live a life that truly inspires you. Personally I believe that we can only live a life that truly inspires us if we are authentically ourselves . The rest would just be BS…
Hey Zach;
This opening page is a good read. And hits the target squarely. I have long had an issue with those who think ANY sort of spirituality means you are all goodness and light and pacifist, and weak. I am TIRED of the trope that you have to be nice to people who are being assholes because “you’re spiritual”.
I can tolerate viewpoints, even personalities that differ greatly from my own, but I will not sit still and let assholes walk all over other. My natural inclination is protection, safe-guarding. Like the dragon guards his horde, I guard my friends and family, or anyone else that needs it.
I know this doesn’t fit the classical touchie-feelie “spiritualism”. Frankly I don’t give a fuck. MY spirit tells me I must do this. This is the “me” I must be. It is gratifying that others can see spiritualism doesn’t have to fit in a particular pigeon-hole.
That was really fucking awesome to wake up to! A breath of fresh air!
Thanks Zach ????
I love the contribution YOU BE ❤
Love this honesty. We all need to feel accepted. Sincerely accepted.
Wow! Exactly where I am. Right I the middle of letting go of what was and existing in who I am to become. A not so graceful divorce and an abundance of negativity in my life led me to yoga. I’m even now in school to teach yoga because, really, it’s changed my life!
Lately, I’ve had A LOT of negative thoughts, like regret, doubt, fear, the list goes on. But I know I am destined for greater things. The Universe brings to us what we need not what we want… so thank you for being you. I’ve been inspired! ❤
High five from another community that knows the only true value in this discussion is the human one and is parallel to our willingness and ability to be authentic to who we are. The way we roll is by being authentic with each other and having good manners when communing.
We’re been practicing this human mastery in communications for about 6 years now. With a world wide 24/7 conversation going on, we find that the most up-tight bs about cursing comes from the puritan roots of religion in the US, lol. Our members in Europe mostly think it’s rather silly.
Mindfuck has become one of our favorite terms in forum. Pegged by a sister in Germany to those chinese finger puzzle types of experiences that only come undone when we stop resisting our personal responsibilities in them.
I’d say the other biggest spiritual hack out there is the lack of mirth or a sense of humor in the balance between reverence and mirth that represent the natural polarities inherent in our experiences. Since laughter is simply the best, quickest and most powerful way to blast open the heart and to bust up our ridiculous self importance etc, this has also been a big quest for deprogramming in our midst.
Hang in there, bro. Mastering our humanness is all a part of the journey. And it’s ALL sacred territory. We can do this.
This piece means so much to me.
I came across a part of it on an Instagram post which led me here. It brought tears to my eyes. I finally felt seen. Because it’s all true. The road to authenticity is paved with rejection but i wouldn’t have it any other way. Safety has never been appealing anyway.
Thank you so much for this Zack.
THANK FUCKING GOD.
for a long time i thought i was doing spirtituality wrong. and i wasnt fitting in and a lot of the time i didnt. i swore in yoga class in hard fucking poses and would always get “looks” but i cant fake being all happy and calm all the time. cause im not. im a fucking mess most of the time.
and nowdays i speak my truth with fucks and all …
so thank you for this.
Totally agree. Love your words. Authenticity is spiritual
This was exactly what i was thinking earlier today. That’s been happening to me a lot lately… I’ve been needing the reassurance and it always comes at the right moments and with people who connect and feel comfurting as if our souls reconnected.
Yes, thank you Zach. x
Just a quick Thank You and Hell, Yeah for this post. I’ve been outright denounced as “non-spiritual” for my drunk-sailor language while discussing deep and profound concepts. I yam what I yam.
Blessings on this and all your endeavors!
Haha this is so true! I work as a clairvoyant and also do training for other spiritually minded people and I have to keep telling them to be more themselves! Swear if you have to who cares! I’ll refer them over to this now!
Wow, I absolutely loved this, thank you.
Authenticity! It has taken many years, but I have learned that being vulnerable, being me is the only way to real intimate relationships. I’m not talking about sex, sort of. I’m talking about attracting people who aren’t afraid to show you who they are – who they really are. But, I had to learn to love and accept myself exactly as I am at this moment, had to take the risk of being me, in order to begin attracting like minded folks.
Thank you, Zach. I feel at home here.
Betty