It’s interesting. Since I launched the site and pulled the curtain back on Open Source Spirituality, there’s been one response that I’ve received more than any other.
From moms to metalheads to former-Mormons. The people are very different, but the message is always the same:
Thank you for putting yourself out there. And for showing that it’s okay to be me.
The funny thing is, the reaction usually comes before they’ve even had a chance to dig into the ideas.
More often than not, it starts with the silly Fuck Spiritual. Be You. picture in the sidebar.
So why is that so shocking?
Why should that, of all things, make any difference to anyone?
Because we’re all afraid to reveal who we really are.
And because “spiritual” people don’t say fuck.
We’ve been handed this idea of what it means to be spiritual… Peaceful. Transcendent. Free from emotion. Free from ego personality.
It’s easy to be “spiritual.” It’s easy to be pleasant and peaceful and unaffected.
It’s easy to pretend.
It’s easy because it’s safe; and it’s fake; and it comes with a roadmap.
All we have to do is follow the stereotype and project the right image. (When in doubt, just smile placidly and say Namaste.)
Being authentic is scary.
We all want, more than anything, to be ourselves. To express ourselves. To be seen and accepted. And appreciated for what we have to offer.
But we’re afraid that if we do express ourselves—if we reveal who we really are—the people in our lives will reject us and abandon us.
They won’t want to see. They won’t accept.
And the shitty thing is…
We’re right.
Not everyone of course. But some.
And sometimes it’s the people who really matter.
It could be your parents, or your best friend, or your lover.
No matter how hard you try, some people will reject you.
And the more you are who you are, the more rejection you’re going to face.
Because the most beautiful thing about you—the thing most likely to offend others—is YOU.
Scary? Yes. But here’s the good part.
Having a personality—being an actual person—lets people form an opinion.
Sometimes that means you get rejected. But sometimes it means you get to connect and engage at a much deeper level.
But until you put yourself out there, you’re just stuck in the middle. You don’t risk the rejection. But you never make the connection either.
Which brings us back to the picture in the sidebar…
I don’t exactly fit the “spiritual” stereotype. And when I was just getting started, I wasn’t sure what to do about that.
I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out how to not offend the old spiritual-but-not-religious crowd.
I was sure my ideas would help them. But I was also sure that my personality would rub them the wrong way. And so I kept trying to figure out how to take me out of the equation.
It was difficult, and depressing. And it kept me stuck for quite a while.
The turning point came when I attended a New Age expo in Nashville a few years ago.
I remember walking around this giant room, looking for anything different or interesting. I found costumed gurus and costumed psychics and crystal peddlers and approximately 270,000 certified Reiki masters…
And I thought, these are not the people I want to spend the rest of my life hanging out with!
Followed quickly by, what the hell am I going to do??
I already knew that this was my life’s path. I knew that my unusual insights into consciousness and the contemplative arts were the most meaningful gift I had to give.
But “Open Source Spirituality” didn’t exist yet… It was still in pieces. And it didn’t come together until I realized that I could share that gift with people who I wouldn’t need to hide from.
So I decided to let people see me.
Initially it was just my own act of courage. An effort to express who I really am, and hopefully build a life engaging with people who I could actually connect with.
But the more I revealed, the more I realized that authenticity was the point.
Not “spiritual.” Not “evolved.” Not “enlightened.”
Authentic.
Whatever that means… However that changes as you grow… Just be you.
For me, that means goofy pictures that express my personality, and a tagline that lets people form an opinion.
For you, it will be something else.
And the “spiritual” crowd? So far they’re predictably offended. They hide their shock, politely dismiss themselves, and go back to Namaste’ing with their friends.
And that’s probably for the best.
There’s a big difference between being spiritual, and being “spiritual.” And I’m definitely not the latter.
The question is: why are YOU here?
What is it that you’re looking for?
If you want to let go of your negative emotions… If you want life to be safe and simple… If you want to make the people you love, love you back…
Then you’re in the wrong place.
Spirituality isn’t safe.
It isn’t easy. It isn’t smooth. And it isn’t going to make people love you.
But it will change you.
You’ll wake up. You’ll break down. You’ll weep for beauty and connection. You’ll laugh and love and fight and fuck. And fall ass-backwards into mind-bending experiences that no one will understand…
But you won’t be safe.
You won’t avoid the things you don’t want to feel.
And if you use it as a path to authenticity, you’ll face an awful lot of rejection.
Because that’s the price of being YOU.
It’s the part that none of us signs up for—but all of us get anyway.
Not the most enticing pitch, is it?
Call it truth in advertising.
And if you still think that spiritual people don’t say fuck… If you still think it’s all about an even hand and a safe and steady passage… No worries. Keep up the search. And thanks for stopping by.
For the rest of you…
YOU, with the irreverent spirit…
YOU, with the inner-grin and the hopeful heart…
YOU, with everything to gain; and everything to lose…
We’ve been waiting for you.
If you liked this post, please consider sharing, along with a brief comment of what you thought… It doesn’t sound like much. But these small gestures make a tremendous impact on building our community, and helping other wayward rebels find a perspective that they can resonate with.
And if it spoke to you, why not Join the Tribe? It's free.. And this is just one tiny piece of more than two decades of impassioned work...... And YOU probably belong here with the rest of us!!
In any case, thanks so much for stopping by! – \m/ – Z
About Zach Herbert
I teach people to do cool things with their consciousness, and break their brains with beautiful ideas.
Professional heretic. Unlikely mystic. Host to rebels, misfits and independent thinkers.
Find out more here. And follow me on Facebook at:
Maria says
O yes… This article speaks to me. I also find I’m not willing to be in a spiritual competition!!! I am not an aggressive person, nor do I have rehearsed speeches that I repeat at every opportunity to catch the interest of like minded people and say, I am spiritual ahead of you, or spiritually worthy of anothers attention. Coming from a life of abuse, I’ve been conditioned to not respond or react until I was in a safe place to do so. This makes conversation difficult, sometimes. Authenticity, honesty, I can only be me and strive to improve me one day at a time. Thank You for the article
Michelle says
My first reaction when I read the title was “What the fuck!?”
Amanda says
Thanks mate. All I know is that I am evolving and opening up spiritually at a rate of knots and sometimes freaking out that I am alone doing it, then going online and seeing a plethora of similar people. I am enhancing my natural gifts of which I seem to have a lot of (yes I am one of those gazillion reiki practicioners) but a heap of other stuff too. But I swear like a sailor at times and all my pre awakening friends are all “I thought you were supposed to be spiritual now, why are you still swearing? Shit like that drives me fucking mental. There I said it. I dont fit into the beautiful, speaking softly all the time, soft, flowy stereotype and I’m not some foul mouthed degenerate either. I’m me and I’m being the best me I can and if I drop an Fbomb now and then, so be it. At least I’m not a poser. And I’d rather hang out with other me’s and not be judged than the alternative. Isn’t love our real mantra anyway?? Peace out .
john says
Excellent blog post…I live in a Yoga Community and had to face the ‘Yoga image’ and the opposing ‘liking a beer’ when I am at a Cafe. After much contemplation I chose – authenticity and ‘fuck em’ if they don’t kike it’ mindset.
Peggy says
Fucking brilliant! I’ve come out of my “who I thought everyone thought I was supposed to be shell.” Authenticity is where it’s at. Completely.
MWAS says
Until we fully realize that there’s no higher power outside of us than what WE posses on the inside, most will be looking for answers yet the same are right there at their disposal. Authenticity is the best gift anyone can give the self, any other thing will be trying to fit in at the expense of one’s own happiness. I am still learning and FUCK YES, its an interesting journey.
Thank you all for putting in the work to tap into that well of possibilities that resides inside each and everyone of us.
Delise says
I learned awhile ago, the hard way, not to give a fuck what people think about what I say or do. When I played it “safe” people still oftentimes formed negative opinions about my words and actions. So, I said, fuck it ?☺️?
Danny Brown says
I have it on good authority that Yoda said, “Oh for fuck’s sake, Luke!” many a time. And you don’t fuck with Yoda.
Just discovered your blog, mate, you have a new subscriber.
Brenda says
Thank you for this piece. I grew up in the FLDS church and only broke free from it 3 1/2 years ago. I spent nearly 40 years surrounded by deeply religious and spiritual people. I was one of them as well.
This describes who I am now, and the path I continue to follow in being my authentic self. I had to chuckle at the place where you said something about being irreverent – I have some amazing co-workers, who I’m proud to call my friends – who refer to me as being irreverent. I take it as a compliment.
I have had the good fortune of meeting some of the most amazing people since I left the FLDS, and they help fill the void that was created when all my friends and family turned against me for leaving. I wish I could get this kind of writing to them and get them to read and honestly consider it.
I’m glad to know I’m not alone.
P. S. I do say fuck. 🙂
Naomi says
I agree completely. In my early 20’s, 2 men said things to me that, at the time, I thought were horribly uncouth and selfish. One said: “You have to look out for #1.” The other:” Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke!”. Thirty years later…I realize they were right…in a way. You absolutely have to walk your own path if you want to see clearly and to breathe deeply. This is where you grow the courage and strength needed to take your place in this human race. Spirituality has many faces…many languages. And if others refuse to accept that…Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.
Yarum says
Shit!! You got my inner, hidden weenie right in the feels! I’m Home!
I gotta keep up appearances at my job, but at least, I’ve someplace to look forward to after the grind.
Excellent!
Suzanne says
There’s a shirt I want that says, “Namaste, mother fucker”. It’s brilliant. Thank you for this.
Jennifer says
I can’t. stop. reading. this. blog. Thank you for this. This is exactly how I feel. Particularly as a yoga instructor, people assume that I’m going to be just like every other yoga instructor – all smiles and Sanskrit. But I’m not. I have good days and bad days, and I curse like a muthahfuckah without really caring what anyone else thinks about it. I’m finding this whole spiritual path so challenging to navigate while I try to balance my physical and material requirements with the callings of my soul. Thank you, thank you!
Amy Jo Maurer says
Fuck me. THANK YOU. I am in tears …. joyous tears of revelation of what I already knew, but truly needed someone to mirror for me. Sincerely, beautiful authentic amazing YOU … thank you.
Ulrike Meier says
And on top of everything: I really like your hair!
Kathleen Gage says
Love, love, love this post. And so very true that it’s not about pleasing others. It’s about honoring who we are. The most spiritual thing we can do is honor the agreements we make…. like paying our bills. It’s also about being kind when everything else indicates we should be an idiot. It’s about remembering where we were at one point in our life and not judging those who are still there as if they are bad for being where they are at.
It’s simply about living in the most congruent way we can and that will piss some people off and have others judge us.
dani says
Fuckin AWESOME!!! Thank you my friend, there needs to be more outspoken Unfuckers out there in the world, telling it like it is. Well said my friend!
d
Kristina says
When I read the first part of the line I thought “fuck that! ” cuz yeah I’m spiritual and yeah I cuss as well. …just my way of expressing things in this world. Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs. ..cussing is my last vice. Great article!
Rudi says
I am a massage therapist, reiki master, lover of crystals, lover of art and science. My beliefs are uniquely my own because no one system fits. My connection to myself and others is my Divine connection. I am fucking spiritual and I’m proud! I am who I am and I own it. I love your attitude! The reward of authenticity is freedom!
Kat says
Second time in as many days I have been gifted the truth about being my authentic self. Wasn’t raised to be, am middle/aged, so fuck yes–it’s scary as fuck. I am, however, beginning to truly embrace the concept. Thank you. ????
heather Macdonald says
ha.. fucking love this.. since awakening a yr ago I’ve been looking for that silly crazy niche where I’m not the same as everyone else even though I do reiki, and evolving daily with angelic help. I’ve always been a fuck person and still am.. and a few other crazy things that have revealed an interesting me..
Hugh Bailey says
You just set a grenade off in my head, dude! Most of my adult life I played the religious game until I realized God hates it because it’s our invention to control faith and make God complicated.. The first part of my life I hid behind all of the hedges of normalcy. In the end I figured out for myself that the church had completely misrepresented God because they used him to sell us. That’s a bad gig to wake up one day and realize God isn’t in the box, he is the box. If the people I know and love really knew what I think most of the time they would disown me. A few would hang and I know who they are. The rest I don’t really need and that’s ok. Thanks, man!
Melissa says
This. All of this.
Thank you 🙂
Retha says
It’s funny that just this morning I happen to read “when the student is ready the teacher will appear ” I just stumbled across your page and WHAM what you said stirred my soul!!
Justin says
Truth.
heidi says
I’m with you fellas 🙂
Rochelle says
I found this an enjoyable read and look forward to reading more.
I’m currently on my own journey to be me. It’s taken me on some very interesting paths and I’ve met some incredible people that have all brought something to my journey.
Cassandra says
You have no idea how much i needed to read this today! I feel the exact same way. Thank you for posting this. I will definitely be sharing it.
Janice says
Appreciate the reminder that I’m not the only “crazy” one. These are things I remind myself of and am challenged with every day.
Glory says
Thank you for this article. It has helped me come to terms with my teenage son. He started cussing a lot when he turned 15 (friends influence). He only does it when he is hanging out with his friends or talking to them through the game chats. I have tried to get him to stop, but after reading this, I think I will just let him figure it out himself. If he stays up playing video games and cussing with his friends and still gets up for church on Sunday morning, well, I guess he will be okay. I didn’t express my self very well, but, anyway, thank you for posting this. I now realize that my son can and will be a spiritual person, even with the occasional F bombs thrown in! 🙂