It’s interesting. Since I launched the site and pulled the curtain back on Open Source Spirituality, there’s been one response that I’ve received more than any other.
From moms to metalheads to former-Mormons. The people are very different, but the message is always the same:
Thank you for putting yourself out there. And for showing that it’s okay to be me.
The funny thing is, the reaction usually comes before they’ve even had a chance to dig into the ideas.
More often than not, it starts with the silly Fuck Spiritual. Be You. picture in the sidebar.
So why is that so shocking?
Why should that, of all things, make any difference to anyone?
Because we’re all afraid to reveal who we really are.
And because “spiritual” people don’t say fuck.
We’ve been handed this idea of what it means to be spiritual… Peaceful. Transcendent. Free from emotion. Free from ego personality.
It’s easy to be “spiritual.” It’s easy to be pleasant and peaceful and unaffected.
It’s easy to pretend.
It’s easy because it’s safe; and it’s fake; and it comes with a roadmap.
All we have to do is follow the stereotype and project the right image. (When in doubt, just smile placidly and say Namaste.)
Being authentic is scary.
We all want, more than anything, to be ourselves. To express ourselves. To be seen and accepted. And appreciated for what we have to offer.
But we’re afraid that if we do express ourselves—if we reveal who we really are—the people in our lives will reject us and abandon us.
They won’t want to see. They won’t accept.
And the shitty thing is…
We’re right.
Not everyone of course. But some.
And sometimes it’s the people who really matter.
It could be your parents, or your best friend, or your lover.
No matter how hard you try, some people will reject you.
And the more you are who you are, the more rejection you’re going to face.
Because the most beautiful thing about you—the thing most likely to offend others—is YOU.
Scary? Yes. But here’s the good part.
Having a personality—being an actual person—lets people form an opinion.
Sometimes that means you get rejected. But sometimes it means you get to connect and engage at a much deeper level.
But until you put yourself out there, you’re just stuck in the middle. You don’t risk the rejection. But you never make the connection either.
Which brings us back to the picture in the sidebar…
I don’t exactly fit the “spiritual” stereotype. And when I was just getting started, I wasn’t sure what to do about that.
I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out how to not offend the old spiritual-but-not-religious crowd.
I was sure my ideas would help them. But I was also sure that my personality would rub them the wrong way. And so I kept trying to figure out how to take me out of the equation.
It was difficult, and depressing. And it kept me stuck for quite a while.
The turning point came when I attended a New Age expo in Nashville a few years ago.
I remember walking around this giant room, looking for anything different or interesting. I found costumed gurus and costumed psychics and crystal peddlers and approximately 270,000 certified Reiki masters…
And I thought, these are not the people I want to spend the rest of my life hanging out with!
Followed quickly by, what the hell am I going to do??
I already knew that this was my life’s path. I knew that my unusual insights into consciousness and the contemplative arts were the most meaningful gift I had to give.
But “Open Source Spirituality” didn’t exist yet… It was still in pieces. And it didn’t come together until I realized that I could share that gift with people who I wouldn’t need to hide from.
So I decided to let people see me.
Initially it was just my own act of courage. An effort to express who I really am, and hopefully build a life engaging with people who I could actually connect with.
But the more I revealed, the more I realized that authenticity was the point.
Not “spiritual.” Not “evolved.” Not “enlightened.”
Authentic.
Whatever that means… However that changes as you grow… Just be you.
For me, that means goofy pictures that express my personality, and a tagline that lets people form an opinion.
For you, it will be something else.
And the “spiritual” crowd? So far they’re predictably offended. They hide their shock, politely dismiss themselves, and go back to Namaste’ing with their friends.
And that’s probably for the best.
There’s a big difference between being spiritual, and being “spiritual.” And I’m definitely not the latter.
The question is: why are YOU here?
What is it that you’re looking for?
If you want to let go of your negative emotions… If you want life to be safe and simple… If you want to make the people you love, love you back…
Then you’re in the wrong place.
Spirituality isn’t safe.
It isn’t easy. It isn’t smooth. And it isn’t going to make people love you.
But it will change you.
You’ll wake up. You’ll break down. You’ll weep for beauty and connection. You’ll laugh and love and fight and fuck. And fall ass-backwards into mind-bending experiences that no one will understand…
But you won’t be safe.
You won’t avoid the things you don’t want to feel.
And if you use it as a path to authenticity, you’ll face an awful lot of rejection.
Because that’s the price of being YOU.
It’s the part that none of us signs up for—but all of us get anyway.
Not the most enticing pitch, is it?
Call it truth in advertising.
And if you still think that spiritual people don’t say fuck… If you still think it’s all about an even hand and a safe and steady passage… No worries. Keep up the search. And thanks for stopping by.
For the rest of you…
YOU, with the irreverent spirit…
YOU, with the inner-grin and the hopeful heart…
YOU, with everything to gain; and everything to lose…
We’ve been waiting for you.
If you liked this post, please consider sharing, along with a brief comment of what you thought… It doesn’t sound like much. But these small gestures make a tremendous impact on building our community, and helping other wayward rebels find a perspective that they can resonate with.
And if it spoke to you, why not Join the Tribe? It's free.. And this is just one tiny piece of more than two decades of impassioned work...... And YOU probably belong here with the rest of us!!
In any case, thanks so much for stopping by! – \m/ – Z
About Zach Herbert
I teach people to do cool things with their consciousness, and break their brains with beautiful ideas.
Professional heretic. Unlikely mystic. Host to rebels, misfits and independent thinkers.
Find out more here. And follow me on Facebook at:
Fuckin A right!!
Ok, sold! I’m in. This is worth signing up with and talking about. Thank you!
Thanks you Zach for your message, You are spot on.
One thing to consider though, the new age spiritual crowd is very diverse!
I know about the BS you are refering to, completely agree, HOWEVER, your intro reads 99.9% an many Adamus Saint Germain channels, with plenty of words like Fuck, Bullshit and the true price of BEING FREE.
Same message, and that is good, very good.
I think people need what their level of enlightment can handle, you and I can handle this website and contents.
I could not, years back, …..i would not have agreed and would have thought you were of “lower vibration” and shit like that.. True Freedom is HARD. Most people cant handle freedom, even its own freedom.
Their “namaste” here and there, oops, i farted! sorry, namaste! etc etc. Is just a step of the ladder, and has to be HONOURED, as it is mostly in good intent.
To finish, I always remind, specially so called Christians, about the alleged RIOT that Jesus did outside the temple, denouncing the bankers and other Bullshit. He probably used some foul words. Love it, resonates like truth to me.
Thank you for your time.
Asher
Spiritual people actually DO say fuck, quite often, in fact. Because if you’re spiritual in this current reality, there’s so much that’s simply insane or totally opposite of what holds the universe together, namely, LOVE.
It’s strange! I totally believe in my faith! Since my divorce I also lost a lot of friends. I met another an in a town close by and the hardest thing is making friends! Joined the YMCA because I am disabled and met people who had the same medical problems. I found a person who had taught school , had 2 grown boys and we had so much in common. I asked after 40 minutes of talking to exchange phone numbers. She looked at me and said no I already have enough friends. I have lived her for 16 years and have met a lot of people but they don’t want new friends. I had someone tell me that I was to honest. Yes I let my sailor language go a lot. But I do try to take into consider the people I am talking to. But when I get excited, upset those words tend to fly. I told my husband I have to go to doctors to make friends. I had lost of friends years ago but when you move people don’t have time for you. I needed to read this today! Thanks so much! I am a real person and not a fake. I love and care to much about people. Maybe that is my problem! I crave to have a close friend to do things with besides my dog! I will keep working at it. I know being real is the best way to go! Just wish others would except me in this small minded place!! Thanks for the good read!!
What’s wrong with the word fu ck anyway? Unless you are a test tube baby that’s what landed you on this planet in the first place. Should’nt we be celebrating it?
I love this post. Spiritual people also talk about climate change and the coming chaos that our planet and its inhabitants will experience. It never fails…someone always leaves my professional page when I bring the subject up even in a hopeful way. Your article reminded me to just keep being me.
Thank you Zach. I’m ordained in a traditional church in the verge of an overdue split. I’ve never fit with “church people” so as I pad tired small churches around Central Texas there were many that despised me because I did cuss, smoke & work the 12 steps. I tried to reach others like me & other than blessing animals & motorcycles, everyone else waited for me to be moved somewhere else. My last pastorate (2007) I watched my church members reject a man who I baptized when he asked. He had just been released from prison. I asked for people to show kindness & literally, he was stared at & rejected. Next, I baptized a bi-racial kid born out of wedlock & they had it with me. I left. I was in tremendous spiritual pain. After working in a trauma center hospital, I moved on to the VA & fell in love with vets. I could smoke, butch & say “fuck it”. The vets were incredible. I now am a pediatric chaplain (imagine, I’m an old spinster who never married so people still raise their eyebrows at that). I love the kids. I have finally quit smoking but church folks, & the enlightened keep their distance. I still love my music & I still play it loud. I’ve preached from the text of George Carlin. You get the picture. I’m still in recovery but moved out of the program a long time ago. I am comfortable with my spiritual self but I’m awful lonely.
Brilliant post, as per usual, I liked seeing the resounding chorus of “Fuck yea’s” as i scrolled down the comment feed. Haha
There is an amazing freedom that comes with accepting yourself & what you represent, and then acting into your best authentic self & seeing the results from just being your best!!
That was a breath of fresh air. I am spiritual. I love nature and helping people. I love doing energy work and the mystical metaphysical side of things. No one would think I could get angry or curse but the day I found the courage to say the FUck out loud it shocked a lot of people. But hell yes that was me and if that is a no no in the “spiritual ” world I don’t want any part of it.
I really can relate to walking around all those Rieki “masters” and gurus ready to have people worship at their feet.
That is not me.
I like using the word authentic because that is what it’s all about. Being you and becoming the best you you can become.
Thanks!
I like what you have to say. And thank you for being you. It may give permission for a lot of people sitting on the authenticity fence to be themselves also. What if being “you” is the only person you CAN be……. every other option is already taken? Giggles 😀
Thank you, I enjoyed reading your writing, no not just skimming like I do most articles on this wide world of the web, I read it and savour your words. The day I ‘quit’ religion, after doing a ton of work on myself, I can totally relate to what you say. Being spiritual is not for the weak, feeble, or followers… it takes guts, courage, total honesty with self, and a shit load of fucks, to get to a spiritual place… right and an ocean of tears, for me anyways.
Thanks again, I’ll pass this on to some of those I work with and hopefully they’ll open the door a crack and find their own brand of spirituality!
Wow. This was just what I needed. Ty ty ty
Thank you so much for putting this site together. I have been struggling with just being myself and experiencing life the way I’m suppose too! This article popped up in my Facebook feed and came at the perfect time. I would love to be apart of this group, thanks again! Excited
Spirituality includes everything. Only newbies believe it can be cornered and captured.
Authenticity means natural being. To discover who you are means to let go of conditioning issues and come into that spaceshuttle from were you can choose consciously. But we all have to walk the dirtroads.
Like religion means to become one, it doesn’t mean people who are religious ARE one. Those people fleeing into popular spiriwiri newage type of spirituality, know that even for them Its temporarilly. Trauma’s and such make people longing 4 release.. Its a natural response not Wanting to be here in duality for some. Some use drugs, others look for other ways to search for that state of relieve… by drinken, dancing, surfing, whatever gives them that feel of thrill, flow or oneness…
Yes, spirituality is everything lived consciously..
The popular defenition of spirituality is not.
So there is only a scene which doesn’t fit, but to be spiritual you just have to breath and know it is fucking awesome. Love to all!
From one undefined spiritual misfit to another.
Good fucking post man.
Authenticity is completly the key.
Being comfortable in your own skin, speaking with integrity and honouring yourself.
Have an awesome day.
Well I’ll be damed! Finally some truth in finding your “spiritual” self.
Peace and love yawl !
Fuck, yeah!!
Go, brother.
Namaste 😉
Authenticity versus incongruence…let’s see…hmmm…ok long enough…fucking authenticity!!! Thanks Christ (well not Christ per sae but christ) I found you. Just at the exact right moment because that’s all there is.
Thanks for putting this up, friend. This is a great read, something I can get behind 100%. Everyone fears rejection to an extent, so to change the perspective is really something beautiful. Starting my day off with this in mind. Cheers!
So, I just did a vision board, literally last night, and in big letters I wrote, “MY VIBE ATTRACTS MY TRIBE”. Then I’m reading this and see, “Join the Tribe”. Lol. So, thanks! Here I am! I am spiritually authentic as well. I often get asked, “Do you really think people are going to ask and TAKE advice from a tattooed, purple haired, loud, cussing, tarot reader who makes it known she’s a witch?!” Lol <——that's my response! It's simple, if my authenticity makes you uncomfortable, then we just aren't meant to connect right now. You will loose a lot of "friends" as you enter into your authenticity, but it just makes room for the real friends who have been patiently waiting to enter your life! Fantastic article!! Thanks for sharing and THANK YOU for being YOU!
Thank you! This resonates with me so much, and it’s the first I’ve heard of you. Love you already! ❤
Wow, this resonates for me in so many ways. Being open, honest, and authentic is so much more important to me than being “spiritual”, and often the desire to connect in a real way seems so unappealing to others. People say they want real, but certainly not that real.
About time someone put up exactly what it means to be enlightened and yet so different from the “average guru type mystics” who are only following the crowd and not really being themselves amongst it and not finding their real selves. Why follow when you can be so much more by just being “you”? You will attract the people that you can have so much fun with your evolution which doesn’t mean not having fun, not swearing or being crazy to others. It may be uncanny mysteriously strange or fantastic, may even imply an unearthly or supernatural. If you look up in the dictionary “Weird” you may be surprised that all of this means “weird”. Well folks, welcome to the weird mob.
Living beyond your own expectations and restrictions and evolving towards unconditional love that surpasses all understanding connects you to a deeper more powerful divine energy that is so pure and forgiving which encompasses you to become light, power and love. That is evolution of the soul. Why not have fun whilst doing this and be the real you, not a person with masks as that achieves nothing! Swear, laugh a lot, be the real you!
Thank you Zach. It lets me believe that there are people out there that are the true spirits of the universe.
This….all of this…this is amazing. I feel better having just read this. I’m working on trying to put words to my situation in an authentic manner that still allows me to shoot from the hip. It’s been five years, or it will be in 8 days since my accident caused by a drunk driver. That’s a lot of time in the dark, people noticing I was suddenly so different. But I’m the same just I have a better, more healthy perspective. Thanks for this! Keep it up!
“I know the pieces fit, I watched them fall away.”
-Maynard J.K.
Since I’ve been on my journey, this has been my stumbling block. Finding others like me. People a bit more enlightened but not completely scrubbed of an authentic personality. In this journey I’ve come to find that my already close knit, TRIBE that I ride with, drink with, smoke with, go to Slayer shows with, is sprinkled heavily with others that are on the same journey already at varying levels. This has brought me great comfort because I just couldn’t see myself making friends, that I’d actually enjoy spending time with, the “typical” spiritual type people. This is what the world needs now, to see how to be you and be spiritual without having a world full of no emotions, no personality, and fake humans.
Fucking good read. Love to all the other fuckers looking for purpose
Absolutely awesome!!! This was refreshing to read!!!
This was sent to me on New Year’s Eve. Here’s to greater authenticity in the new year!
Thankyou zach you saved me, came at the right and perfect time when i decided to be me, spoke out and now lost my eldest and youngest sons and other family members but its 2017 and im changing to face my fears, sick of being silenced, sick of being blamed, going to be me and put myself first and follow my dreams, thanks Zach